Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Nisa', Its a words to keep

Dinikahi wanita itu kerana 4 perkara :

Pilihlah dalam hal beragama. Nescaya, beruntunglah kedua tanganmu.

Before I go back to university, it's a words to keep from mak...

"Jadi wanita tu, kejarlah cita setinggi langit. Mak hanya mampu bekalkan doa.. Carilah haluan hidup kamu sebaiknya. Solat kamu jangan lupa. Mintak dengan Tuhan banyak-banyak. Jadi wanita, lengkapkan diri dengan banyak perkara. Ilmu pengetahuan harus sentiasa digali, dicari...kejar impian sekuat hati tanpa lupa diri.."

Marjan Nadwa, its kirana, its mestika, its permata.....

aiming to be well educated, sweet and coherent personality, high profile of career woman, for sure....

Lovey wifey and well educated mama for children....

yang menyenangkan hati apabila dipandang, berhikmah, lembut perilaku dan bicara, tegas pada cara...

Not only reminder for me, but all of muslims women outside...we are superb actually. Came along with complete packages. Everybody has their own past stories. Forget about past mistakes because its been done already..Turn to new leaf is never too late. Focuse about the goal ----> awesome muslimah...

Learn patience from Aisyah,  loyalty from Khadijah, purity from Maryam, steadfastness from Fatimah.

And...I am still on my way to complete me..Alhamdulillah..Hope the sun will shining brighter than ever...:)

p/s : Its time for morning prayer and I'm still not done with few revision. So, I guess to stop here. Till then, best regard.....Salam.

Finale Decisia

Everyone has a past, secrets, dark memories. I am included. These things that we call experiences, some of us learn from them, some of us just fail in them. I have kept many of my life experiences on my own. Thus making who I am today. Whatever I feel like doing, just because I am a really curious person (everybody should know this by now), I will do. And being a person of "just do it", I did. The consequences of my secrets are mine to bear, to learn from, to stop. Whatever that I did, is mine, and mine alone. No one told me to do so. So please, stop looking at others and just look at me. I can say that sometimes, I don't know what I am doing, therefore, I am learning on my own.

You have your pasts too, right? Did you not learn from it as well? Did you not learn from your own mistakes? Did you not jeopardize many things? But you still go on, steadfast, to become who you are today. To live your life today. Regardless of what everyone else say, you still go on.

We shared our secrets, well some of it. Trust me, your secrets are safe with me. Whatever I have seen with my own eyes, heard with my own ears, those are memories etched in my life. I can't erase them, I can only remember them and that is it. Those are not my stories to tell, those are yours.

During the days when no one would talk to you, when people question me, why do I keep on going back to you, do I not remember what you have done to me, how much you have hurt me, I tell them, regardless, I can never erase you from my life. You are a part of me. Now, that many have started making amends, you forgot, and you put the blame on me. For being someone whom you never knew who I was. I am who I am, no one made me this way. This is me, and I know I have changed to be a better person that you need to understand. So don't go talking to others about my life. I never meddled in yours, why must you meddle in mine?

And you, of all the people, I trusted you the most. Opening up to you. Sharing my real me. Thinking that, whoa! I really can be with you. But in the end, when you think I am not listening to you, I am not paying my attention to you, you used all of the real me as an ammo to win their trusts and their hearts. Go ahead, use it all. If that is the best that you can do to get all the attention you want. Just bear in mind, from now on, there will be no me, there will only be the facade that I have been doing most of my life, just like everyone else.

So there you go, lesson learned.

  • whatever that I have done, is of my own doing. Stop pointing those dirty fingers. It's disgusting not to take the blame.
  • I cannot trust. I just can't, not anymore.
  • Please read back the books of your lives. Remember that I was there too.
and lastly, strike three.....
You are out.

Monday, 25 June 2012

When Heart Speaks

Life is full with mysteries. To those who have lived long enough, they will realize that there were a lot of things that often went unexplained by means of logic and science. And often too these unexplained mysteries bore a lot of speculations; some were correct, some were not. 

Sometimes being honest with self is the hardest, while being honest to others in second hardest thing to do. I today take the courage to be honest with all of you who often come and visit this blog in a regular basis from time to time. And as I carefully arrange my words in order not to offend anyone nor myself, my mind runs like a failing clockwork. My sore eyes try hard to open, and my trembling fingers work their way to convey what I am going to say next.

Love is a delicate matter. When two souls love each other, they start to float to up above the high clouds in happiness and joy. Life seems to be so easygoing and practically charming to deal with. Nothing seems to matter at all but love; love that completes one another and perfects the imperfections of each other. 

But as love starts to fade, there comes the falling rain and thunder. There comes the windy storm and tormenting typhoon. Everything seems to be so wrong in order. Bit by bit the holding hands give away, and the two lovers are thrown away from one another, often so close, yet so far away. And the eternal flight ends immediately, as these two lovers fall fast from the sky and smash into the ground, deep into the deepest pits of sorrow. Alone by self in the dark. 

Miserable best describes what I feel inside. 

It has been a month since I smiled widely. Since I was ever so bloody happy. Since I was so much in love. Since I was so at the peak of my life. Since perfection was perfectly perfect. 

But now, nothing was more lonely than my late nights and my early mornings, and very much in between. Nothing was more empty than my heart now, if there is still any bit of it left, and nothing is more broken than my heart now, if there is still any other bit of it around. Gone were the days of everlasting love; the shared smiles, laughter and dreams. Gone were the warmth and the protective shrouds of shelter. Thunderstorms over my head, breaking grounds below my feet. The future seems so cloudy now; confused, uncertain, indecisive. 

As much as I wept over what had happened, deep inside I know that there is nothing else that can be done to undo all these mess.

I have to. 

My almost-healed heart torn apart into so many pieces. The gloomy walls of despair and sorrows. And almost everything else. I have to be strong, because if I don't, I will only cause many other heartbreaks.   

Never mind my heart. Never mind my heart anymore. 

Had I a chance to turn back time, no matter how physically impossible, I would have had. I would have looked after our mistakes and mend them before they went beyond control. Had I a chance to love better, I would. Had I a chance to be a woman that makes everything perfectly, I would have. Had I a chance to love again, I would have. Blame it on me, I take all of them with open arms and open hearts, and may I will be strong and patience in order to walk through yet another Allah's test to me. May my eyes one day stop weeping, and may one day my nightmares stop haunting. May all be well again, insya Allah.

You left so quickly. I had so much to say.

Thursday, 21 June 2012

Such stressfull day

Baru selesai dengan test human nutrition.sambil menunggu test malam ni, i just decide lepak dekat restoran sri molek. going through the handout smbil menyaksikan keindahan petang laut china selatan. stress dengan bermacam masalah yg menimpa. kesihatan yang kurang baik dengan batuk, selsema and demam sekaligus. heartbeat yang jatuh ke paras tak normal sometimes. thanks untuk Nikman yang prihatin. nasihat wawa itu dan ini. thanks too untuk Fauzan yang mengambil berat. hope i able to cope these as well as is it.wish me luck untuk last test malam ni. finale exam will be 6 days on countdown.wish me untuk terus kuat. guys, jom lepak sini lah..anyone whose nearby. k...:) meh nak belanja hi-tea.


Banyak yang mengatakan...
Ayah berfikir dalam diamnya.
Ayah menahan rasa kesal dalam diamnya.
Ayah bangga pada kita, dalam diamnya.
Ayah menyimpan semua beban hidup dalam diamnya.
Ayah menyayangi kita dalam diamnya.

Ya, ada yang mengatakan begitu. Dan aku percaya.
Dalam diamnya, bukan bererti ayah tidak memikirkan kita, masa depan kita, bahkan keinginan kita sampai sedewasa ini.
Dalam diamnya, bukan
bererti ayah tidak menyayangi kita.
Tapi Ayah selalu menginginkan yang terbaik untuk hidup kita.
Dalam diamnya, bukan bererti ayah tidak bangga pada apa yang telah kita dapatkan. 
Tapi ayah hanya menjaga agar kita tidak menjadi manusia dengan rasa sombong yang keterlaluan.
Dalam diamnya, bukan bererti ayah tidak memiliki beban. 
Tapi ayah hanya tidak ingin menyusahkan kita.

Ya, ayah hanya ingin merasakan dan memikul bebannya sendirian. 
Kerana ayah, sayang kita.

Saat kita begitu banyak melakukan kesalahan, ayah selalu memaafkan.
Ayah selalu menerima permintaan maaf dan penyesalan kita. 
Tidak kira apa jua kesalahan sekalipun..
Ayah tidak pernah mencatat semua pengorbanannya untuk kita, 

Sebab cinta dan ketulusan ayah, selalu mengalir sebagaimana aliran darah yang mengalir bersama dengan degup jantung dalam tubuh kita.
Ya, sebesar itulah cinta ayah. 
Tak terhitung....

Sebelum terlambat, berlarilah dan hampiri ayahmu...
Mohon maaflah atas semua kesalahanmu dan peluklah dia...
Katakan bahawa "Aku Sayang Ayah"...

Satu ungkapan sederhana yang membawa jutaan makna...
Satu ungkapan sederhana yang mampu meringankan bebannya.
Satu ungkapan sederhana yang mampu memberikan senyum diwajahnya...
Satu ungkapan sederhana...

Sesederhana ketulusannya, membesarkan dan menjaga kita...
Dialah, AYAH...

Sunday, 17 June 2012

Musical Drama 2012~I think I love you

Alhamdulillah.segalanya berjalan lancar. Walaupun semua tension sebab  tak cukup tido dan terpaksa kejar masa untuk hal lain, still kami dapat jayakan amanah yang diberi. Saya dapat mainkan peranan sebagai lead actress for roly-poly dance, restaurant manager yang dicop sebagai pramugari airasia malam ni, dan dapat menyanyikan lagu If dengan baik walaupun agak terlupa lirik, still dapat cover :) dan walaupun kelam kabut nak tukar jeans dari scene menari rancak tuh ke skirt ketat untuk scene manager restaurant dan untuk perform lagu, mujur dapat kejar masa. Tiba-tiba ade mat salleh yang duduk menonton. mesti dia dapat catch part saye lupe lirik tuh.haha. anyway...rasa dah nak demam ni...esok ade 2 presentation. Dah solat Isyak, tido lah dulu kejap.:)

Saturday, 9 June 2012

Semua Isi hatimu

Kau katakan padaku
Betapa lelahnya dirimu menghadapi aku
Kau katakan padaku
Ingin kau mengakhiri semua ini
Tak bisakah engkau cuba
Melihat diriku dan semua cintaku
Tak bisakah engkau cuba
Hargai hatiku dan perasaan ku untukmu
Cubalah tuk mengerti aku
Seperti aku yang mengerti semua tentang dirimu
Cubalah tuk merasakanku
Seperti aku yang merasakan semua isi hatimu
Tak bisakah engkau cuba
Melihat diriku dan semua cintaku
Tak bisakah engkau cuba
Hargai hatiku dan perasaanku
Yang hanyalah teruntuk dirimu !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cubalah tuk mengerti aku
Seperti aku yang mengerti semua tentang dirimu
Cubalah tuk merasakanku
Seperti aku yang merasakan semua isi hatimu
Cubalah tu cubalah tuk mengerti aku
Cubalah tuk merasakanku
seperti aku yang merasakan semua isi hatimu .........  <3

Thursday, 7 June 2012

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Hyperactivity or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can be defined as developmental disorder of children characterized by impulsiveness, distractibility and hyperactivity.  Many parents find it difficult to manage  thier  active children. These children would be continually moving about, exploring the environment around them and in the process creating chaos. They may not be able to sit still for even a little while to concentrate on any activity. They want to be first to do anything and find it hard to wait their turn. They don't seem to get tired.

ADHD is not caused by high sugar intake, poor parenting and vaccines. Extend research has failed to prove that this factor relate to hyperactivity. ADHD has biological origins that aren't yet clearly understood. No single cause has been identified, but researchers are exploring a number of possible genetic and environmental links. Studies have shown that many kids with ADHD have a close relative who also has the disorder. Another factor will be discussed further in this report.

ADHD cannot be cured, but it can be successfully managed. Parents can consult with the doctor to build a long-term plan. The goal is to help a child learn to control his or her own behaviour and to help families create an atmosphere in which this is most likely to happen. A combination of medication and behaviour therapy is the best combination for treating ADHD. 

 For better understanding, refer to article that i've modified some from resources related to ADHD


Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD, has a simple cause: poor nutrition and food additives

New research is appearing now that's showing the link between the consumption of food additives by children -- especially food colorings -- and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD. Well-informed parents have long realized that the consumption of food additives causes hyperactivity in their children, but most conventional doctors have dismissed the idea as pure bunk. Of course, far too many doctors dismiss the idea that food choice has any relationship to health in the first place, so the view from conventional medicine doesn't carry much weight. The real story here, however, is not that food additives and artificial colorings cause ADHD, but that there are several other dietary substances that heavily influence a child's mental state and day-to-day behavior.

Let's face it -- the human brain is a flesh and blood organ, and it is strongly influenced by blood chemistry, which is, in turn, dictated almost entirely by diet. What you eat, in other words, determines what your blood composition looks like, and what your blood composition looks like determines the way your brain functions. Of course there are other factors such as physical exercise and environmental influences, but the largest factor of all is dietary.

So when you eat processed foods containing additives and artificial colors, you are introducing toxic chemicals into your bloodstream. Those chemicals find their way into the brain and alter brain function, and in the case of children who have been diagnosed with ADHD, it alters their behavior to make them restless or to have a shortened attention span. It can also cause children and adults alike to display other problems derived from their mental state.

But it isn't just food additives -- it's also refined carbohydrates. People who eat large quantities of white bread (or food containing refined white flour) also suffer from mental disorders. These can include depression, aggression and violent behavior, and learning disabilities. Consuming refined carbohydrates also causes people to have brain fog -- that is, they can't concentrate for very long, and they don't feel like they have clarity of mind.

Drinking soft drinks also causes the same effect, because it is essentially the same macronutrient that's poisoning your body: refined sugars. As it turns out, these refined sugars also cause behavioral disorders by depleting the body of nutrients that are critical for neurological health. These nutrients include the B vitamins and several notable minerals, including magnesium and zinc. When the human body is deficient in these vitamins and minerals, it will, of course, exhibit both mental and physical disorders.

The problem in all of this is that rather than recognizing the true cause of these mental and physical disorders in our children and in our adult population, conventional medicine labels it a disease. Therefore, the treatment becomes a drug rather than changing your diet, and that's where things get crazy, because now we're dosing up tens of millions of our children on Ritalin when the true answer to their behavioral problems or lack of focus is to immediately remove soft drinks, cookies, and sugary breakfast cereals from their diets. If you feed your children foods that enhance their health -- that is, unprocessed foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains and superfoods -- then they won't exhibit these behavioral problems.

In fact, the solution to all this is surprisingly simple -- we need to change the diets of our children. We need to take vending machines out of our public school systems. We need to reformulate school lunch programs so that they are feeding our children foods that promote learning and mental health. We also need to educate parents about how to feed their children right so that they aren't so easily influenced by foods that their children want to eat.

And finally, we need to ban all advertising and marketing of unhealthy products to children. It should be illegal, in a civilized society, for companies that manufacture products that cause obesity and ADHD to promote those products to children, because it only creates a cycle of disease and chronic illness that brings society down, and the long-term effect of all of this is, of course, skyrocketing health care costs.

Once again, the answer to all of this is simply to change the foods and drinks that we feed our nation's children. The answer is certainly not to be dosing our children with powerful narcotics such as Ritalin, because right now in this country we are raising a generation of brain-numbed children through our public school system and through the reckless, widespread pharmaceutical prescribing habits of many doctors and psychiatrists.